Have you ever given a speech, a sermon, or held a quiet conversation that people later came back to you and said “Thank you, what you said to me changed everything for me.”?

I’ve had that happen more than once and it’s blown me away. As the founder of the brand CJ Janzen | The Singing Speaker, I’ve often left a room feeling as though I’ve lifted an audience and hoping that I’ve helped at least 1 person to make a positive change in their lives. I never expect cards of thanks or messages that leave me in tears about how the writer had been contemplating suicide that day and how my message helped them to keep going. I am left humbled that my words can change lives.

Have you thought about what your words are doing in this world?

Words hold immense power and can significantly impact lives both positively and negatively.

Positive Impact:

1. Encouragement and Motivation: Words of encouragement can boost confidence, inspire action, and help people overcome challenges. – Without the encouragement and daily affirmations of fellow alcoholics when I first joined AA that I could make it 1 more day, I wouldn’t now be over 11.75 years sober.
2. Support and Comfort: Kind words during difficult times can provide emotional support and comfort, fostering healing and resilience. – Without my best friends parents taking the time to make sure I had a safe space to escape from the abuse I suffered at home while also watching my mom die of cancer, my suicide attempts would have been successful.
3. Affirmation and Validation: Positive affirmations can reinforce self-worth and validate feelings, contributing to mental well-being. – Without my friends and coaches cheering me on and believing that I could win speaking competition after speaking competition, I might never have turned my passion for speaking, into my profession.
4. Education and Enlightenment: Words used in teaching and sharing knowledge can enlighten minds, leading to personal growth and better life choices. – Without me, 100’s of people might never have had the courage to sink beneath the ocean waves and discover the pure majesty and wonder of the underwater world, to overcome their fears of the unknown, or discover their own passion for teaching.
5. Building Relationships: Positive communication strengthens relationships, builds trust, and fosters a sense of belonging. – Without a willingness to reach out to those who I think are so far ahead of me, I would not be here writing this article. It is through building relationships that we new strengths, find the hands that will bring us to a new level, and find out where we belong.

Negative Impact:

1. Criticism and Discouragement: Harsh or critical words can demoralize, leading to self-doubt, low self-esteem, and a lack of motivation.  — We can all close our eyes and hear the words that have hurt us. You’re too fat, ugly, not good enough, too poor, etc etc…. What we say in a careless moment can scar people for life. It’s important to try hard to frame feedback with a mix of positive and areas that need improving.
2. Bullying and Verbal Abuse: Negative words, especially when repeated, can cause emotional harm, leading to anxiety, depression, and long-lasting psychological effects. – There are certain phases that can still physically and mentally cause me to crumble. Yet, with time I am getting stronger because I have surrounded myself with positivity, gratitude and a community that hold me up when I am confronted by abuse.  Are your words hurting others?
3. Misinformation and Manipulation: Words used to deceive or manipulate can lead to misunderstandings, poor decisions, and erosion of trust. – Can you think of times when you’ve told a white lie or made people think a certain way, just to get something you wanted? I know in the height of my alcoholism, I certainly did that. I would do nearly anything to get my next free drink…I’m still ashamed of my behavior, though I have learned to forgive myself.
4. Conflict and Division: Negative or aggressive communication can escalate conflicts, cause misunderstandings, and create divisions in relationships or communities. – Have you ever entered into a conversation just ‘knowing’ what the other person is going to say and you’ve already made up your mind that they are wrong and you are right and there is absolutely no common ground? I know I have…how wrong I was! Take time to actively listen to a person, their needs, and ideas. It’s okay to disagree, but there are ways to step away from those situations without permanently burning bridges.
5. Reinforcing Negative Beliefs: Repeated negative messages can reinforce harmful beliefs and behaviors, perpetuating cycles of negativity and limiting potential. – This harkens back to criticism and discouragement. One skill I had to really focus on in my own healing journey was negative self-talk. What I have said to myself and about myself, I would never have said to anyone else! I go out of my way to be kind, generous, and uplifting of others, yet I can be downright cruel to myself. Whether you are creating a negative cycle in yourself or others, remember, words matter!

When I’m told, “Your words saved my life.” I am humbled, incredibly thankful I was at the right place at the right time, and that my words made a difference.

But this story isn’t about me…

Whose life can YOU change today, by choosing words of kindness, caring, positivity, encouragement, and joy? Create a butterfly effect today, by randomly complimenting a stranger, telling your partner, child, or friend “Thank you for making my world a better place.” or perhaps just tell yourself what you love about you.

Your words can change lives — let’s make them good ones!

CJ Janzen | The Singing Speaker https://cjjanzen.com/

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